The greatest dangers that most parents face when trying to incorporate family worship is unrealistic expectations and inflexibility. Many times well meaning parents go from having no family worship to having mini-church (or not so mini) services in the home. The result is frustration and eventual failure. Some parents dream of having a re-creation of an 18th century Puritan family sitting quietly around the hearth listening intently to every wise and kindly word that father speaks, each child quoting the answers to their catechism with eagerness and singing psalms and hymns with delight and joy. Fast-forward to the 21st century and these overzealous parents experience teenagers rolling their eyes, children becoming tickled and laughing uncontrollably, the question/answers of catechism become reversed as children ask, "When will we be done?", the telephone, which hasn't rang all day, comes to life and the suggestion to sing together is countered with "It's time for American Idol to come on TV." In reality it is a very romantic notion to make assumptions about our 18th century Puritan forbears. They also encountered struggles, daily schedules and uninterested teenagers. Just as us they had to learn to be godly parents, nurture a love for God in their children and be committed to family worship. Here are a few common mishaps:

• Unclear goals of what we're trying to accomplish.
• Not starting gradually.
• Trying to do too much and for too long.
• Not being consistent.
• Being rigid and inflexible.
We begin by asking, "What are we hoping to accomplish?" Our end result should be to cultivate a love for God and His word, to teach and learn to pray together and to love and encourage one another. If we begin with this end in mind it will help direct what and how we do family worship. When we begin with the end in mind we will curb our parental pride in carrying out a legalistic agenda. Just as individuals successfully incorporate physical exercise into their lives so we to should follow the same principles in beginning family worship. We should start gradually and not try to do too much too soon. We must be consistent in the small goals that we set and must be flexible, living in the truth that life is full of surprises and not always as neat and consistent as we hope for.

A Simple Beginning
• If you are not having family worship at all, consider beginning with two or three times per week. As your family gets in a routine slowly add more.
• Go short. The greatest possibility for failure is making family worship too long. Try in the beginning to make it your goal to worship for 10 to 15 minutes 2 or 3 days a week.
• Simple is best! Remember, our goal is to cultivate a love for God and His word. Try this simple 15 minute routine:
  • The head of family prays Psalm 119:18. "Lord, open our eyes that we may see wonderful things in your law."
  • The head of family reads a portion of scripture and summarizes what is read.
  • The family brings prayer requests and prays together.
  • Close your time with the singing of a chorus, psalm or hymn that you learn together.
Here's what we accomplished during this time. We have expressed our dependence and need for God to teach us. We have modeled the importance of God's word in reading it so we may do what it says. We have modeled for our children that prayer is important as we teach them to pray, and we model that it is important to love God by worshipping Him with song. If you are prone to be an over-achiever you may scoff at so little time. However, if you carry out this consistent time over the course of a year you will have spent nearly 24 hours with your family in worship. Just as in physical exercise gains are made over time with consistency. Depending on the age of your children and their attention span you may decide to lengthen your time together and even the frequency of days. Just remember, our goal is to cultivate love and obedience to God and love for one another. Just as runners run when they don't feel like running or when it's inconvenient, so should we as families worship in the home consistently.
Set a Time and Place
Our goal is to be consistent with family worship. The time and place can be different for every family but it should be planned in advance, otherwise it will probably not happen. Because of my family's life and schedule we elect to have family worship after our evening meal while we are still seated around the table. Try different times and places to see what will work best for your family.
Bible Reading Suggestions
As you choose portions of Scripture to read with your family do so with the age and maturity of your children in mind. If you have 3 children under the age of 5 you will probably not hold their attention by reading through the book of Romans. You will, however, hold their attention by reading to them the story of Noah's ark. Most everyone loves to hear stories, especially children. In these Bible stories your children will be learning about the character of God, the failures and successes of His people and examples of what it means to walk with God. As they grow older you can move on to more doctrinal books that help them understand Christian language and what God has done for us in redemption. Click on tools to review Bible reading suggestions.
Prayer Suggestions
A great way to learn to pray is by starting with the prayer that Jesus gave us as a model (Matthew 6:9-13). Work with your children phrase by phrase over several weeks or months until they have it memorized. Teach them what each section of the prayer means and why it is important. Pray prayers from the Psalms and Paul's prayers. My favorite is Colossians 1:9-12. By teaching our family Bible prayers we model for them to pray what is important to God. This helps steer us away from constantly bringing a wish list of self-centered needs and wants. As your family witnesses God answering prayers point it out to your children and give God thanks.
Singing Together
We are commanded to sing to the Lord (Psalm 100:2). Our singing expresses joy, subjection to God's authority, thankfulness and love. As we follow the example of the Psalms, our songs can also express pain, suffering cries for help and quiet confidence in spite of our physical and personal circumstances. Many parents choose not to sing with their children because they feel they are inadequate singers. Remember, you do not have to be a good singer to sing "Amazing Grace" with your children or to teach them a Psalm. When they were babies we often sang nursery rhymes to them without reservation so let us continue to sing with them songs that will help them to learn to be worshippers. Choose songs you can all sing together and talk about what the song means. This helps cultivate a healthy scriptural understanding of worship.
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